Diner Delights T-Shirts

'Today's special is baseball stew, why here it comes now!'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Can I have flies with that'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"The usual."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

Big Boy Foot

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

"What do you recommend today?"

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."