Diner Delights T-Shirts

'Today's special is baseball stew, why here it comes now!'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'Can I have flies with that'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

Choice hellhole

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"The usual."

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

"What do you recommend today?"

Big Boy Foot

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."