Dining Companion Pillows

"My mistake. It wasn't a mouse, I just dropped my roll."

"Just eat the darn thing!"

'This is my special advisor, but between you and me, he's only here for the steak dinner.'

'Honey, do I like dry wines and rare steaks, or rare wines and dry steaks?'

'Why dine and dash? Let's just go Dutch.'

"You're the lid to my pot."

Dolphin friendly tuna

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

Wedding Chefs

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Two scottish gentleman debating over having Welsh rabbit

"Are you as excited as I am?"

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"Things were going along great with Greg and me, and then the 'Diceman' returned."

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"I've taken the liberty of adding eight thousand dollars to your check so that, while you're stunned with disbelief, I can bang your wife."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'You wished to see the house red?'

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

"Oh sure, I spoil him. But, he always has my back."

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'He's just joking - they've had a long day in surgery.'

I've spent much less time with other people recently, but my refrigerator and I have never had a closer relationship.

'Mountain lions.'

'Anyone want to get together for a still life?'

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'