Diner Extraordinaire Gifts

"I'll have the Club Sandwich."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

'How is the water prepared?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"For drinks or dinner?"

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Zagat Rated.

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"It's made with real angel hair."

"I think glamour is fine until it slips over into glitz."

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

'You made me jump,'

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! You've come to the right place.

'Your tea is getting cold.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'It probably wasn't a good idea to ask for seperate cheques.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'