Diner Defender T-Shirts

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Can I have flies with that'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"A votre sante!"

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

Chicken Coupe.

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

Big Boy Foot

"Just a drop."

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"What do you recommend today?"