Dinner Table Defenders T-Shirts

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"Slop again?!"

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table

'That's it - I'm leaving home!'

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

"Must you people always call at dinnertime?"

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

"This is a green vegetable, Mom. You wouldn't want me to break a new year's resolution, would you?"