Dog Dining Defenders T-Shirts

'Don't worry Vicar. He's only looking at you like that because you're eating off his plate...'

No Soliciting

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Dog being carried off by ducks.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

"Sealed for your diets protection."

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"The bad news is, no walk. The good news is, unlimited belly rubs, chase around the dining room table, salmon for dinner, and you're on my bed tonight."

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

"Oh sure, I spoil him. But, he always has my back."

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

Why the "Man's Best Friend" thing is a total fraud.

My first pro bono case.

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

"You claim you're not cheating on your diet, Mr. Parker. But how do you explain this recent weight gain?"

"Anything, really. There's almost nothing I won't eat."

'I've decided to help you diet. I had invisible fencing installed around the refrigerator.'

'Shut-up, stupid dog!'

"This makes a nice change from 'Fetch'!"

"We're tryng to break the dog from begging at the table, but he made a reservation for three."

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'

"Must you people always call at dinnertime?"

'And if he does get through the invisible fence, our drone will zap him from 40,000 feet.'

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."