Digitally Distracted Dog Owner Gifts

"Your screen time is up, but your dog time is down."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Screen Time vs Book Time

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Facebook For Dogs.

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

Remote-controlled cat flap.

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

Labradrone

"My phone has two step authorization. Facial and Backside recognition"

Micro-chipped cat talks in binary.

Thanks to the kitty-cam, curiosity no longer kills the cat.

"Now watch this, bark recognition."

Tinder

Dog at computer screen initiates a search for master's slippers.

"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."

"I think the dog wants to go out. He just texted me the poop emoji."

Robotic dog throws dirt onto real dog.

'Polly wants on-line.'

"Sure, e-mail is faster . . . but I miss biting the mailman!"

"Please – I promise I’ll walk him, feed him, and manage his social media platforms."

Dog views website: www.oof.com