Digital Socialite Pillows

Social networking.

"My insurance deductible is like most of my Facebook friends - I've never met it."

'IT support? Help!!! I just lost 28.743 friends!!!'

"Darling your Facebook friends are here!"

Man in pub puts on coat, saying to work colleagues: 'Must dash ... I want to spend some time on my social-networking sites.'

"Jeffrey, quit playing with your smartphone & go outside to play! Make some friends!"

A socially distanced queue

friendsdisconnected.com

'We've not met but I'm familiar with your online profile.'

'I'm leaving you Hector, I found a new best friend in the internet chat room.'

Social Notworking

Squitter! 'Thx 4 the follow-through'

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'

''Whassup? Got no mates ugly?' - ha ha very funny.'

For every two new Facebook friends I add, one old one unfriends me. Gee, that's too bad, Al. Actually, it's an improvement.

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

Clique Bait

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Cellphone Islands

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

The Modern Novel.

Children's Party

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Working from home to-do list.

Online marriage ceremony.

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'