Tech-savvy Socialite Pillows

Given our collective short attention span, you now have less than 20 seconds to pick up a chick. After that, you've lost her to a cellphone call, incoming email, Twitter and so forth. The key is to keep your approach crisp, witty, and so irresistible that the incoming tweet can actually wait. Does everyone have that? Ooh, does she have an iPhone? Hold on, I'm getting a call.

"Hold on. I've got a call on my other wrist..."

'Not tonight, Rodney - I have to delete e-mails.'

"Honey, I'll be downstairs in the man cave FaceTiming my bartender."

21st century water cooler conversations.

Cellphone Islands

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

Social Notworking

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

Today's Buzz word...

Computer Fashion Show

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

'After 5 minutes it turns itself off and says: 'Get a life!''

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

Teleworking was the death of the office party

'You'll be fine. Take two aspirin and call, fax, text or email me in the morning.'

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

Shark SMS Text

'It didn't work out. We got along great, but our phones were incompatible.'

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

Cafe. It didn't go well? That date was selected for you by a sophisticated statistical algorithm. Lots of math, but no chemistry.

'Laura realised it was time to update her online dating profile.'