Online Socialite Pillows

'It appears your son has a tweeting disorder'

Dying for Social Media

Farcebook.

"I wasn't completely honest in my on line dating profile, so you can stop calling me 'Your Majesty'."

Working from home to-do list.

You should have got the hint when we denied your friend request.

"I would like some facebook friends for Christmas."

'I'm actually much more handsome and successful than this in my facebook profile, and facebook's where I have my real relationships.'

'He's agoraphobic - he won't leave the chatroom!'

Computer Head

'The urge to share the minutia of your hour-to-hour existence is actually a cry for attention...or just another day on Facebook.'

'I'm taking the laptop so that all my internet friends can come on holiday with me.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I'm sorry, I don't know your username."

Facebook Death

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Cellphone Islands

The Modern Novel.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Online marriage ceremony.

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Happy thanksgiving!"

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Fill 'er up Fred!'