Online Socialites Pillows

You can't smell an online profile...

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Cellphone Islands

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

Online marriage ceremony.

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

Working from home to-do list.

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Happy thanksgiving!"

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

Computer Head

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

A day at the races

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

"I gotta log off, guys - I just encountered some malicious spyware."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."