Twittering Socialite Pillows

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Cellphone Islands

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Online marriage ceremony.

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Working from home to-do list.

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Happy thanksgiving!"

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

Computer Head

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."