Digital Rant Enthusiast Gifts

The Computer Bore

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"It's not an actual hotdog, but digital ownership in a picture of an actual hotdog."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

IT staffer vacation tan lines.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

How to apply for a job, then vs. now

"Someone posted a picture of you working in the yard, so I knew right away it had to be a deepfake."

'I've finally achieved a paperless office.'

'And another confusing thing, they give you a ‘textbook,' but it has nothing to do with texting.'

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

'Sorry, but this job is in a paperless office.'

"Julie, are you live tweeting this!?"

'Today we learned if it ain't on Google, it ain't worth knowing.'

At the National Museum of Computer Icon Art

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

'I've decided to replace all human interaction with personal electronics.'

"Dude. You need to get cable."

"What's creaking...you or the floor?"

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

"Grandpa, how old are you in human years?"

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'