Digital Money Muncher Gifts

Bit coin.

Secretive Weigh In.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

"That's a zombie, alright. But he's the worst kind. He doesn't eat brains, he eats data."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

Rolling Over a Pension.

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

"They're sound bites."

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'Today, interest rates rose on news that general fear is up, so why not raise interests rates too?'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"He hasn't been the same since his phone died."

Stockopolis.

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

"And all of our sandwiches come bundled with chips and a pickle"

Bank robber to teller after robbery: 'Now, I'd like to talk to you about opening a savings account.'

Motivation

"Someone had a good review."

"Leave me alone. I'm deciding who to leave out of my will."

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

"Yeah, it's so much better than the Jung-and-Run over on 7th."