Digital Money Muncher Gifts

Bit coin.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Secretive Weigh In.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

"That's a zombie, alright. But he's the worst kind. He doesn't eat brains, he eats data."

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Rolling Over a Pension.

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"They're sound bites."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'Today, interest rates rose on news that general fear is up, so why not raise interests rates too?'

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

"He hasn't been the same since his phone died."

Stockopolis.

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

Bank robber to teller after robbery: 'Now, I'd like to talk to you about opening a savings account.'

Motivation

"Someone had a good review."

"I can't...I mustn't...I shouldn't...I needn't....but I will."

"And all of our sandwiches come bundled with chips and a pickle"

"Leave me alone. I'm deciding who to leave out of my will."

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

"Yeah, it's so much better than the Jung-and-Run over on 7th."