Digital Life Philosopher Pillows

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"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Textin’"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Fact amnesty"

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"