Digital Healthcare Explorer Gifts

'If you want to get a second opinion, I'll ask my smart phone.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

A man's health care options.

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

Health costs soaring in the U.S., Americans are going to other countries for medical care.

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

'Has the medication had any other side effects?'

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

'I'm afraid the doctor can't see you today. You could visit his web page instead.'

"I'm dating an MRI technician."

The Plot To Fatten America Into Submission

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

I can't handle too much change so I'm reading a four-year-old magazine while waiting for my telemedicine appointment.