Virtual Healthcare Explorer Gifts

I can't handle too much change so I'm reading a four-year-old magazine while waiting for my telemedicine appointment.

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Nope, not what livestream means, Bob."

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Go Play Outside - it's so real, you kids will almost smell the virtual fresh air!

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

'Why should I go outside...when I can build a animated snowman here.'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I visited the beach on Google Earth. Next time I'll wear sunscreen."

"I know it's small and expensive, but wait till you see all the Pokemon."

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

Tourist looks at his laptop rather than the scenery.

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

A man's health care options.

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"I'm trying to figure out a way to go trick-or-treating through Google Earth. That way I can do it globally to get more candy."

'I am playing outside, Mom -- look at the graphics.'

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

Health costs soaring in the U.S., Americans are going to other countries for medical care.

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

'Has the medication had any other side effects?'