Digital Health Explorer Gifts

"Would you mind if I ask SIRI for a 2nd opinion?"

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Digital Doctor.

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"That's my diagnosis, and don't waste time looking it up. I've already consulted with Siri and Alexa."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Spring branding on the Hashtag Ranch.

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

A man's health care options.

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

M.D. We call it "MySpace Wrist." Stop taking pictures of yourself.

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

'Has the medication had any other side effects?'

Sports and new technologies

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

The Plot To Fatten America Into Submission

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"