Digital Gossip Gifts

Brace yourself, mom. Someone posted compromising photos of your son online. What? Show me! Warning they're gross. My little Teddy?! With a Justin Bieber haircut? Told you they were nasty.

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Data From a Truck

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Weditorials

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Botox...'

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

My husband doesn´t understand you.

'Voodoo economics was bad enough, but this voodoo foreign policy....'

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

'Take a letter,'

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

The Original Gossip Columns

'Just a minute, girls, while I get rid of an eavesdropper.'

"Legs up to here!"

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"So who else is gonna be there?"