Digital Doula Gifts

Wii Childbirth

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

Text Culture

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

The Modern Novel.

Downloading Pregnancy

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Influence this."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Kevin had a computer virus.

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

Wild West Text Showdown

Remote work

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Jackson Pollock's 'Computer Splatter.'

"My smart watch says I’m really dumb."

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

'I juggle a family, a career, and three cell phones.'

Kevin: King of the Social Influencers.

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

Pregnancy and Laptops

"Yeah, I had to get a second cell phone so I can talk and text at the same time!"

"Honey! Our 15 minutes of fame has been reduced to an unflattering gif on Twitter!"

"Now, you show me yours"

"Just wait until you read my tweets."

Modern day mirror.

'This closet needs digitized.'

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Palm Top Readings

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."