Digital Distraction Navigator Pillows

"Don't forget to empty the dish washer."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Screen Time vs Book Time

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Guru.

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

"This translation app isn't working."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

Man about to enter a maze with a arrow saying 'Internet' with the world at its center

"Forgetting passwords doesn't make you a bad person, Arnold."

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

"I tried working at home, but my wife didn't like me performing colonoscopies in the dining room."

"No, no, no. Double-click to open. I'll walk you through it one more time. Go get your leash."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"Yes, Megan, it's book. Think of each page as a screen."

"Unless you have a 13 year-old running around, I strongly recommend you buy the 1 year technical support."

Close all your windows please.

Navigation App Activated: Start: Bedroom, Destination: Bathroom, Option: Shortest Way.

'Hi, Pam, I'm Dave from tech support online. Just hit these three keys and your back in business!'

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'Due to budget cuts, our school is not distributing report cards. They are available online for download. Luckily, I'm the only one in my family that is computer literate, not that I'll make changes or anything...'

Diving Judge: Sorry, I Was Looking At My Phone.

"Believe me, the e-check is in the e-mail."