Digital Distraction Diplomat Pillows

"I'm just checking my inbox."

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Screen Time vs Book Time

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

'Click 'Like' even if you don't, but are afraid your friends will get mad if you don't.'

Leadership in the Covid-19 era

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

'The internet has made me a more critical thinker. I'm critical of everything I see on it.'

'What a nice gesture from the principal. If only he could do that in person.'

'Not tonight, Rodney - I have to delete e-mails.'

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

Canadian Zoom

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

Diving Judge: Sorry, I Was Looking At My Phone.

"Be polite to AI on your way up because it will be more pervasive on your way down."