Digital Diplomat Pillows

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"Keep your facial expressions where I can see them."

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'

Try that again and click nicely this time.

'The internet has made me a more critical thinker. I'm critical of everything I see on it.'

Tweet Others As You Would Have Them Tweet You.

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'These teleconferences have become a lot more civil since I installed this 7 second delay.'

'Excuse me, I need some help. Do you speak Tweet?'

'Cease fire! They accepted our friend request!'

'Why would I want to think our site stinks?'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

You Have 1 Out Of Guilt Friend Request

'Reaching across the aisle is one thing, but a facebook like?'

'What a nice gesture from the principal. If only he could do that in person.'

"Well, Marvin, maybe you could keep more of your Facebook friends is you'd stop starting every one of your posts with....."

'Apparently it all kicked off when someone took offense at being defriended.'

"That's enough boys. Take it outside or online!"

"This is war! Let the unfriending begin!"

"Our Hippa policy doesn't protect your privacy if you post your medical results on social media."

"So what do we do when we can't say anything nice about someone?"

"Be polite to AI on your way up because it will be more pervasive on your way down."

Reconciliation in social networks

"I'm at my son's graduation ceremony."

"I'm not shaking because I have to restrain myself from smoking. I'm shaking because I have to restrain myself from responding to stupid social media posts."

"Oops... my apologies, Dude. I didn't realize we were Facebook friends."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"No, Mother, I've been busy - I did not 'unfriend' you!"

Leadership in the Covid-19 era

Canadian Zoom

"And if I may tell you, in strictest confidence..."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."