Virtual Diplomat Pillows

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'Ok - I'm reaching out!'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"We're too tired to argue. Let's let Siri and Alexa handle this for us."

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

'Click 'Like' even if you don't, but are afraid your friends will get mad if you don't.'

Leadership in the Covid-19 era

'The internet has made me a more critical thinker. I'm critical of everything I see on it.'

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

'What a nice gesture from the principal. If only he could do that in person.'

'Not tonight, Rodney - I have to delete e-mails.'

Canadian Zoom

Bipartisan.

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'