Digital Distraction Dilettante Pillows

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Guru.

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

The singles bar...

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

"I'm just checking my inbox."

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."

Entomology Reference: Bees, wasps, drones.

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

Diving Judge: Sorry, I Was Looking At My Phone.

Big smart phone and small tablet.

"Ahem, your phone, can I please have my book back dear."