Digital Distraction Dilettante Pillows

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

Screen Time vs Book Time

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Guru.

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

A group of people in an art gallery staring at a phone

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

The singles bar...

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

Entomology Reference: Bees, wasps, drones.

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."

Frank, you're partly cut out of this picture! Kids these days know their gadgets but nothing about where food comes from. I hired a kid to work on the farm and that photo is what I got when he heard the word "crop."

Diving Judge: Sorry, I Was Looking At My Phone.

"I'm just checking my inbox."

"How could I flunk? All my answers came straight from Siri."

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

Are you calling 911?!

Big smart phone and small tablet.