Digital Dissection Debater Pillows

"With all the advancements lately in artificial intelligence. I'm not sure we should be dissecting digital frogs either."

The Proust of Twitter

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

'When I was young we didn't have the interweb at our fingertips. . . we had to go to the library to get our questions answered!'

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

High Tech/Low Tech.

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

Modern Nursery Rhymes

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"They're powered by Internet outrage."

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

"If God had meant for man to interact rationally He wouldn't have given them internet forums."

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"Of course you're not a failure - lots of people don't know how to tweet."

"Actually, you don't have a pinched nerve...your underwear is too tight!"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.

"None of this seems to be doing me any good at all!"