Digital Diploma Holder Pillows

"I just finished high school and college online. Now can I play my video game?"

Computer Room.

Moses on the web

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

God's Phone

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"I have an app for that."

Day one, post grad

"A virus ate my homework."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"You're never too old to learn..."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"It works as long as the teacher doesn't call on you."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'