Degree Holder Pillows

Day one, post grad

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"Son, I'm proud of you! You're the fiest in the family to study and wear a tie at work!"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

National Academy of Sport

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

No room to hang his diploma.

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

Turning with mathematical precision.

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

And if you go for your Masters', we'll throw in your PH.D. at no extra charge.

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

'I didn't know 'Businessish Management' was something you could get a degree in.'