Degree Defender Pillows

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"I'm afraid a qualification from 'the university of life' doesn't get you very far in the software industry these days."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

Day one, post grad

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

Science Snobs

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'Remember not to shirk the paperwork.'

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

No room to hang his diploma.

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

Man with Sword in Penholder

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

Turning with mathematical precision.

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

'I am an unhappy employee.'

'Herbert's security hookup lets him make sure no one took over his desk while he's on vacation.'

Arming teachers...what's the worst that could happen?

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

Job Stress.

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'

And if you go for your Masters', we'll throw in your PH.D. at no extra charge.