Degree Diver Pillows

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'The Questioner'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

Travellers

"Gotta cut back on my binge thinking."

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

"The cultural appropriation is annoying but the herring is delicious."

It was an impulse buy.

'I keep having this recurring nightmare, that when I get back from walking in the woods my porridge is too cold.'

Question Mark

Angst - Zeitgeist.

Cash Rebate

'Shove' (at big sale).

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

"I see it's payday again Perkins!"

He was forced to take early retirement.

"Sorry, water in my ears! What was that?...sharp?...spark?"

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

Deep sea diver finds The Plug.

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

'He was right at his desk a moment ago.'

"Occasionally, the membrane between parallel universes ruptures."

Man overloaded with samples

'It just makes it seem more interesting.'

'Thanks, I started collecting diplomas when I was seven.'

Sitting In