Degree Holder Prints

Day one, post grad

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Glad-You-Ation

"Son, I'm proud of you! You're the fiest in the family to study and wear a tie at work!"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

National Academy of Sport

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

No room to hang his diploma.

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

Turning with mathematical precision.

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

Graduation Creation of Adam

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

More Education Needed

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'