Digital Culture Analyst Pillows

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"I write reactionary half-truths and broad generalizations, therefore I am."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Weird things I do because of the internet

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

The Digital Family

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"You are still here."

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"Fact amnesty"

Cheer up – at least #et_tu is trending.

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

Egguy JUMP!! 62 Eggs like this. Gr'Egg LOL. M'Egg OMG so funny!!!!! 3.

'for more obit info, go to...'

"Do you believe the world is all an illusion?" "I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon." "Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet 'It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies.' If the entire hive mind of Earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true." "I hope not. I'd hate for you to end

Internet Cafe

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

"Please turn on your cell phones."

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."