Digital Culture Critic Pillows

Fakebook

"Alex Jones may have been banned on facebook, Apple, Youtube and Spotify but I'm sure I can still hear him screaming."

The Modern Narcissus

"Fact amnesty"

Join Fritter. Send only 279 characters! No obligation to send 280 like that dinosaur Twitter. Foolishness. Fritter's obsolete! Join Bitter! My new service allows only 278 characters and only angry sentiments. Fritter! Bitter! Critter. Zero words. Apple fritter.

@RUDY_PARK: Hey @#$% losers, want sum more wisdom? Stop following me and GETALIFE! @RUDY_PARK: 45 new people are following you on twitter. Total followers: 45,000. @RUDY_PARK: Welcome new Twitter followers. Self-haters! You'd follow lemmings off a cliff into a bowl of warm vomit! I feel so alive. Don't peak too soon. You haven't talked about their dead relatives.

Religious persecution reimagined.

'His last Tweet was '#brianjohnson just about to die@dying.bit.ly.om'.'

Pre-owned text messages.

Fortunately there are still some honest social media profiles...

"I've come to the conclusion, that for most social media users, stupidity must be a preexisting condition."

"I'm afraid his recovery is entirely dependent on the number of likes he gets."

"At last, Twitter has a button that instantly lets you express self-righteous indignation."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Weird things I do because of the internet

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

The Digital Family

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'for more obit info, go to...'

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

Internet Cafe

"Do you believe the world is all an illusion?" "I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon." "Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet 'It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies.' If the entire hive mind of Earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true." "I hope not. I'd hate for you to end

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"