Digital Convenience Advocate Gifts

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

Graduates on their phones

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"You said you'd be 'five minutes,’ nine months ago."

Why god isn't listening...

We only asked him to switch off his mobile and he seems to have shut down completely,

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

Coffee then and coffee now.

Condom Delivery

'I'm tired of using every part of the stupid buffalo -- I wish they'd put a Wal-Mart in around here!'

"My mommy's passwords are stronger than your mommy's passwords."

"Apparently, it wasn't a figure of speech when he said his computer locking up made him so mad his head was going to explode."

Digital Alternatives

"The end is near." "Ya think?"

'I told you I didn't want indoor plumbing, but no! You just had to keep up with the Jones. Call the plumber. The pipes are frozen again.'

'Chalk is so retro. Why haven't you upgraded to an interactive electronic whiteboard?'

"I don't know why we need a qr code when all they have on the menu is dog food."

"Social media kindness. It's a thing!"

You'll require a better credit rating before we we can raise the limit on your card.

"I got so fed up with dropped calls and no service, I bought my own cell tower and take it where ever I go."

"I see a lot of this. Your eyes are stuck in a down position -- try not to look down at your phone so much."

'Why are you still here? I deleted you.'

"I'm just saving our records to the cloud."

Child Protection

"You take a bite, then you check your phone. You take a bite, then you check your phone. . ."

One of the problems with convincing lawmakers of the need for rural broadband access...

"But I just joined Facebook!"

'Jimmy! Will you stop texting on your mobile phone. We are trying to discuss how technology has changed society!'

"Your neck pain. . . I have a theory."

"We can now pay our water bill online, and for the sheer joy of doing so, they only charge an extra $2 dollars."