Digital Convenience Advocate Pillows

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

"You said you'd be 'five minutes,’ nine months ago."

Why god isn't listening...

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

We only asked him to switch off his mobile and he seems to have shut down completely,

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"My mommy's passwords are stronger than your mommy's passwords."

Condom Delivery

'I'm tired of using every part of the stupid buffalo -- I wish they'd put a Wal-Mart in around here!'

Coffee then and coffee now.

"Apparently, it wasn't a figure of speech when he said his computer locking up made him so mad his head was going to explode."

"The end is near." "Ya think?"

'I told you I didn't want indoor plumbing, but no! You just had to keep up with the Jones. Call the plumber. The pipes are frozen again.'

'Chalk is so retro. Why haven't you upgraded to an interactive electronic whiteboard?'

"I don't know why we need a qr code when all they have on the menu is dog food."

"Social media kindness. It's a thing!"

You'll require a better credit rating before we we can raise the limit on your card.

"I got so fed up with dropped calls and no service, I bought my own cell tower and take it where ever I go."

"I see a lot of this. Your eyes are stuck in a down position -- try not to look down at your phone so much."

'Why are you still here? I deleted you.'

"I'm just saving our records to the cloud."

Child Protection

"But I just joined Facebook!"

One of the problems with convincing lawmakers of the need for rural broadband access...

"You take a bite, then you check your phone. You take a bite, then you check your phone. . ."

'Jimmy! Will you stop texting on your mobile phone. We are trying to discuss how technology has changed society!'

'Instead of a closing argument, we ask that you visit the defendent's website at i-am-innocent.com.'

"We can now pay our water bill online, and for the sheer joy of doing so, they only charge an extra $2 dollars."

"Your neck pain. . . I have a theory."