Online Convenience Advocate Pillows

You'll require a better credit rating before we we can raise the limit on your card.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

King uses drawbridge as wheelchair ramp to his van.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

Why god isn't listening...

Uptight Fishing...'we put the bait on for you'

Perpetrator of a daring daylight illegal electronic transfer of funds fleeing the scene of the crime.

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

Fortunately there are still some honest social media profiles...

Herring Impaired

"Making your own potions is old fashioned. I order mine online and pop it into the microwave!"

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

The Off-line Store

"I didn't have time to take him to the dog trainer. Luckily, they have an online course."

'It looks like a sad individual hunched over a computer, but apparently it's people power.'

Remote control heart monitor.

"I applied for the right to be forgotten."

"But I don't need to take swimming lessons. I did an online course."

'Whenever I get on the Information Superhighway, somebody FLASHES me.'

'Remember when you needed a can opener to open a can of whoop ass?'

Drive-in dentist.

"I told you we need the internet. We can't organize a revolution with sticky notes!"

The only guy left who's not online.

Ask Me about my Break from Social Media

"Now customers must prove they're not robots by checking the boxes of people making deposits."

"What this world needs is a Facebook with admission standards."

One of the problems with convincing lawmakers of the need for rural broadband access...