Digital Commentator Pillows

'Twittering about the fact that you're twittering,seems to be a waste of time.'

'Wow, when did it start letting you 'enemy' people?'

'If you don't like the feeling of being followed, you shouldn't be on Twitter.'

"When you Instagram me, I feel cheap."

The Twitter logo with its mouth taped shut

"In the morning he trolls on twitter and in the afternoon he trolls on threads."

''How am I?' Tsk, you people who don't do facebook! I've got to make up a status update especially for you, have I?'

Allowing comments on the online obituaries was a terrible idea.

"Of course I'm socially engaged! I commented on a story about child labour with a sad emoticon!"

"Letters to the Editor are not what they used to be."

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

"OMG, LOL!"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

How logos change over time.

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

The Smartass Phone

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Egguy JUMP!! 62 Eggs like this. Gr'Egg LOL. M'Egg OMG so funny!!!!! 3.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

'for more obit info, go to...'