Digital Ages Humanist Gifts

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Fact amnesty"

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

'What does the internet have against my people?'

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

The Thinker (with a laptop).

Digito Ergo Sum.

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'