Digital Age Realist Gifts

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

Life after death

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"Free why-fi.”

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

"Hey Google, describe the view."