Digital Age Intellectual Pillows

Secret Hand Signals of the Initiated - Then and Now.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"Did you get my tweet?"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

Modern Portrait Gallery

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

Statue of liberty selfie

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'