Dieting Champ Gifts

'It's so hot you could fry an egg white on the sidewalk.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

Diet Sugar House.

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'I've got a problem.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

The cake diet.

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

Obesity problems in the UK.

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'