Diet Challenger Gifts

Two weighing machines, one speaks your weight and the other lies about it.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

No, thanks - I'm doing a ten-minute fasting cleanse.

'Burl's on a diet. . . his high school class reunion is this Friday.'

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

'My gosh, I'm losing my jowls!'

Man on diet fealing guilty

'Want the perfect diet?Don't eat while your wife's on the phone!'

"Maybe it's just water weight."

"In for a penny, in for a pound."

Any time is cake o'clock

Tension filled the tent.

Too much cilantro

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm a monster."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

"It'll never be ready in time."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"