Health Conscious Champ Gifts

Healthy eating centre - keep off the grease.

'Well, well, well...'

Distance to avoid contagion

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Running

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

Wash your hands

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

"So what brings you in today?"

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

What's really in junk food...

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

GM Foods.

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."

'Have you been eating right?'

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

"Your, health check results are excellent. You have the body of an athlete... Although, probably only of bronze medal standard."