Dietetics Gifts

'Better go easy on those acorns, Fred. You know how they give you gas.'

'You've got the same problem congress has -- too much pork!'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

In the Guru District

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Chez Nous Menu

Soup of the month.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Bad for you but to die for

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Studies show foods work miracles!

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'