Dieticians Gifts

'If junk food is out and healthy food is in, what's going to happen to doctors?'

'I'll just have whatever he doesn't notice.'

"If it's so good for you....couldn't it smell good too?"

Bones barbecue.

Faddy, fussy and pernickety eating. It's strictly the preserve of those without kids.

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

'Stan here is a true believer in Spencer's evolutionary theory of 'survival of the fattest'...!'

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

'An apple? Haven't you got any superfoods?'

'Hello, Pappa John's. I'll take 2 large pepperoni pizzas. Hey honey, do we want them to hold the health insurance?'

'One tall caramel macchiato and a grande double shot latte with nipple?'

Taking Vitamins.

Chez Nous Menu

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.

'I don't like it either, but it IS brain food.'

The result of taking too much soda to correct acidity

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

In the Guru District

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'