Dietary Supplement Savant Gifts

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"I come here for the pepper."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

Piggy Bank ATM

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

Sandwich snob.

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

Kid about report on alternative fuels being due today: 'I just couldn't summon up the energy to do it.'

US Energy Consumption

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

Oil prices exceeding 105 dollars a barrel.

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"

"Teeth cleaned. No questions asked."

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

'Take more vitamins... Well maybe you shouldn't take so many vitamins.'

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

"The groomer used too much product."

"This means that my dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich!"

Wind Farm Association birthday cake with windmill candles

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"I need the epipen? I need the epipen?! Where am I going to get that kind of money to pay for it?"

'Inside of me a thin person is struggling to get out. I find that person can be sedated with a piece of chocolate cream cheese cake.'

'Let me know when you're ready for the Great American tuna fish sandwich.'