Dietary Requirements Gifts

"If it's gluten-free, peanut-free, lactose-free and fat-free, why does it cost more?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

But is it organic?

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Soup of the month.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Bad for you but to die for

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Like death by salad.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'