Dietary Needs Gifts

Dog eating near dogfood bag: 'Now Gluten Free'

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'You're lactose intolerant.'

Vegetarian Suicide

"This is the Halal dog food. The Kosher dog food is in the next aisle."

"Run! It's Armagluten!"

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

But is it organic?

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Soup of the month.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'Like death by salad.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'