Dietary Need Enthusiasts Gifts

'Loaves and fishes?! Haven't we anything for wheat intolerant vegans?!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

International House of Excrement

'New Barbeque.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Fat man on scales.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'