Dietary Need Enthusiasts Pillows

'Loaves and fishes?! Haven't we anything for wheat intolerant vegans?!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

International House of Excrement

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'New Barbeque.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Fat man on scales.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'